During a special Bachelor Tells All, Andi Dorfman finally, tearfully, opened up about the decision to end her engagement to fiancé Josh Murray, just five months after she accepted his proposal on the July 2014 finale of The Bachelorette’s 10th season.
The 27-year-old former Assistant District Attorney revealed to Harrison that the decision to end their engagement wasn’t made overnight — and their seemingly happy appearance at the live premiere for season 19 of The Bachelor on Jan. 5 was the final straw.
“[There was] nothing official before that, obviously to make the decision to end the engagement doesn’t just happen overnight,” said Dorfman, wiping away tears. “We had struggled for a while — we definitely did.”
Dorfman called walking the red carpet “eye opening,” and said that being around other “happy couples” only made it clearer that there were issues in her own relationship.
“We went to the premiere and I think it was hearing people ask about wedding dates,” she said. “We actually had to ask ourselves, ‘Why haven’t we been planning our wedding?’”
Dorfman and Murray announced they were breaking off their engagement via a joint statement shortly afterward, on Jan. 8.
“After several months of being engaged and working on our relationship, we have decided that it’s best for both of us to go our separate ways,” the pair said in a statement to Us Weekly. “We are very sad that it has come to this point, but this is what’s best for both of us individually. We will continue to be good friends and have nothing but great things to say about each other and wish each other the best.”
Dorfman told Harrison that the ultimate decision to end the relationship was mutual, and stemmed from compatability issues.
“We were both very aware of the fact that we just didn’t better each other,” she revealed. “I didn’t feel supported and empowered, and I don’t think I gave him the support and empowerment that he needed.”
Dorfman said that despite the split, she still loves Murray, 30, and thinks she made the “right decision” in choosing him over other finalist Nick Viall.
“I’ll always love him, like I’ve never loved anybody like that in my life,” she said. “That was my first true love, without a doubt.”
The gorgeous brunette said both their big personalities led to the demise of their relationship, and “feel[s] bad” that she let down audiences who rooted for the pair.
“I have to be realistic and say I’m heartbroken,” she admitted, choking back tears. “I know this is honestly the biggest failure of my life so far, I understand that, I know that.”
Dorfman said she isn’t harboring ill-will toward the former baseball pro.
“I don’t want to look back on my life with any regret,” she said. “I still care for him, I’m always gonna care for him.”
