Now that everyone has recovered from the Hamptons brunch Armageddon that plagued The Real Housewives of New York City in the first few episodes of season 7, the show has traveled back to Manhattan. Things seemed copacetic in the land of the ladies during episode 5 — at first.
Bethenny Frankel was busy celebrating her birthday with Carole Radziwill, Sonja Morgan, and LuAnn de Lesseps, who were too distracted by the much younger men hanging around to be bothered to bicker with anyone. (Sure, they may not have bickered even if the man candy hadn’t been present, but their 20-something dinner dates certainly didn’t hurt.) Kristen Taekman and Dorinda Medley were both notably absent from the festivities, however.
Later in the episode, Bethenny, Carole, Dorinda, and Heather met up — at dinner, not brunch, hallelujah! — where Dorinda and Bethenny bonded over always being on time and a mutual love of Alïa dresses. It was all going so well… until Heather questioned Bethenny about who she invited to her party, who she didn’t, and why. Yes, we’re back to fighting about the way invitations are distributed. (Wasn’t this covered in the Countess’ etiquette book?)
Radzi Takes a Ride to Cougartown
It turns out Carole made good on her desire to make something happen with LuAnn’s private chef, Adam — except that that something involved accidentally taking drugs, a pedicab ride, and throwing up on him. While that mishap might have stopped a less skilled cougar in her tracks, Radzi took it in stride.
“I have a theory about puking,” she explained. “First of all, guys aren’t really grossed out by gross things, and as a woman it makes you seem really vulnerable and they like that.” It seems she was right, at least when it comes to Adam, because he reportedly stayed over that night and the entire next day. He even took the author out again to play what was the most sexually charged game of ping pong in history (or Housewives history, at least). All that’s fine and dandy, but what’s LuAnn going to think? (ICYMI, Adam used to date LuAnn’s niece.)
Carole didn’t seem too concerned about all that, but did say that she had admitted to LuAnn that she was, in fact, dating a younger man. She just didn’t volunteer which one. So, we’ll have that showdown to look forward to, depending on how hot and heavy Carole and Adam get and how fast. (Based on the teaser for next week’s episode, it looks the answer to both of those questions is very!)
Meanwhile, Ramona Singer got her flirt on with an age-appropriate restauranteur who is some sort of poorly defined business partner. She did a respectable job batting her lashes, but something tells Us she doesn’t know Carole’s throw-up-on-him trick yet.
Dorinda Is One Mean Mama Bear
Unlike so many of her counterparts, Dorinda is pretty much the polar opposite of a cougar: She’s a chubby-chaser — at least, that’s what her 21-year-old daughter, Hannah, thinks. Though Hannah gave her mom a hard time for her penchant for less attractive men, it seems like her issue might be more with the specific man her mom is dating.
While Dorinda and her dry-cleaning magnate boyfriend were on a date, they briefly discussed their idea for going into business together. Side note: Their idea is to put RFID chips in wealthy women’s clothes for tracking purposes. If only Bethenny’s Herve Leger dress had had that when she loaned it to Ramona! We didn’t get to learn much about their brilliant plan, however, because their chat quickly devolved into a fight about Hannah, or more accurately, about how Dorinda prioritizes Hannah above John.
“If you bring up my f—ing daughter again, I’ll rip your f—ing a new a–hole,” Mama Bear warned. “Back that ass up and you back it up quick.” She washed her anger down with a few more martinis while a stunned John picked at his meal.
She got a different perspective though during her dinner with the girls, who urged her to figure out a way to unite her two separate relationships. Speaking about her daughter, Dorinda sighed, “She’s got to grow the f— up.” She’s not the only one, dear.
One Plus One Minus Two Equals Drama
Though Bethenny had a great time at her party, her incompetence in handing out invitations once again bit her in that Skinnygirl behind. For whatever reason, Heather felt it was a good idea to tell Bethenny that Kristen’s feelings were hurt that she wasn’t invited to her birthday bash. Bethenny responded by pretending to go to sleep and dismissing Kristen’s feelings as “completely ridiculous.” Dorinda jumped in to say that she too was “superficially upset” at not receiving an invite. Guess that shared love for Alïa only goes so far.
Heather tried to smooth things over with Bethenny by explaining that she had told Kristen that even she was invited at the last minute — which prompted Bethenny to inform Heather that she did not receive her own invite after all, but rather was considered Carole’s plus one — which prompted Heather to call Bethenny a bitch.
Hey, at least they got to eat this time.
