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Conan O’Brien: Use My Studio for Tiger Woods Mistress Reunion!

Parting was such sweet — and funny! — sorrow for Conan O'Brien, who bid adieu to The Tonight Show on Friday. The redheaded comic ends his stint on the show after just seven months, following the unexpected turn of events involving the cancellation of Jay Leno's prime time series, leading the way for Leno to resume his old Tonight Show post.

In his swan song monologue, O'Brien began by suggesting some good-natured thievery: "Ladies and Gentleman, we have exactly one hour to steal every single item in this studio."

See shots from Friday's all-star Haiti telethon and other celeb news photos!

He also joked about where fans might see him next: "The terms of my settlement say that I can't host another show for 7 months. So next week look forward to the Andy Richter Show with his sidekick, me!"

Having reportedly received $33 million in severance from NBC, O'Brien nevertheless notes he's open for many "exciting career opportunities," and makes an important clarification: "I will do nudity."

Who might play him in the TV-movie dramatization about the NBC-Leno-O'Brien brouhaha? "Academy-Award winning actress Tilda Swinton!" he suggests.

He also has recommendations for how to use his now-vacant Late Night studio: "Site of Tiger Woods' 1st Annual Mistress Reunion" or "Fitting room for cast of The Biggest Loser."

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Thanking his fans and NBC (which had employed him for over 20 years), O'Brien took a serious moment to admit that his decision to leave was "enormously difficult." (He turned down NBC's suggestion that his show be moved to 12:05 a.m.) "Every comedian dreams of hosting The Tonight Show and, for seven months, I got to," he says. "I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. I've had more good fortune than anyone I know and if our next gig is doing a show in a 7-11 parking lot, we'll find a way to make it fun."

Remember this shocking late-night scandal?

See more highlights from his final episode in the video above!

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